Photos

Me and my bestest friend in Germany, Missa. The Saturday before starting Weight Watchers.

At the beach in Livorno, Italy this summer. Hopefully I'll have to have a new bathing suit this year!

Me with an orphan in Peru in FEbruary of 2003! That shirt is much tighter now!!

Reposting of Thread Entry

If you are part of the International Club, feel free to skip this blog you've possibly already read it. For others, here's my story:

Happy Sunday Morning All!

I'm sitting here enjoying my cafe au lait and breakfast (Thanks, Meal Ideas) and thought I'd put in another 2 cents worth. Like so many of you, I have done this yo-yo thing since my first diet at 9 years old. Yep, my doctor had my mom put me on a diet, which she doesn't even remember, at nine. It was also the summer I stopped dance lessons because the teacher said I couldn't go to the next level of classes unless I lost 40 pounds (Mom doesn't remember that either- sometimes I wonder if I dreamed it all up some time ago). We did the family thing my junior year of high school and I lost 40 pounds or so. Then I went to college and had spurts of exercising and eating well intermixed with lots of processed foods, parties and late night studying/eating runs.

My most recent down/up was both my biggest success and yet in many ways my most informative regaining experience. In late spring of 1999 weighing in at 278 pounds and finishing up my first year of residency, I walked into a Bally's Gym, signed up for a membership and began working out with a trainer who was also a nutritionist. A year later I had lost 30lbs and several inches but hit a plateau. That’s when my sister told me about ediets.com. With ediets.com I began counting calories again and continued working out. Over the next 2 years, two trainers, a move to Colorado from Texas for my new job, a 60 mile walk for breast cancer and an introduction to N.I.A (ask me later), I had lost 123 pounds and was a trim 155 pound size 10-12 (the smallest of my life). But then an abusive work situation and some serious mental traps led me off track. Honestly, I'll never know if I would have maintained if I hadn't gotten caught up in a few things:
1. After 3 years of counting calories, I really thought I could stop counting everything. I stopped planning as carefully and for a while did really well, though I didn't get that last 12 pounds of either.
2. I began to believe my own press. People at work (esp. those involved with the eating disorder program) began telling me I was too thin and that I sounded/looked like the Anorexic girls. It's true that I could calculate the caloric content of a food tray in my head (takes a little longer now) and that you could follow my collar bone across from neck to shoulder. But I still loved food and eating.
3. I stopped making workouts my priority. I had been in the gym 5-6 days a week religiously since I signed up at Bally's. Even during residency, post-call I'd do the elliptical or lift weights or something before going home to sleep. But because of pressures to spend more of my after hours time reading for my research project, I began skipping workouts. It was the beginning of the end of 3 years of hard work.
4. I stopped being accountable to my fellow edieters. Without the challenges, accountability, etc. I could convince myself it wasn't that bad.

My abusive work situation continued to worsen and by the time I realized God was calling me to quit my fellowship and be ready to move onward, I hadn't really worked out or counted a calorie in months. By the end of 2002 I was up 15 pounds to 170, but I had still lost a whole person. I could go back anytime. What's truly ironic is that my success story on ediets.com had caught national attention. I had a photo shoot for People and Self magazines as well as was filmed for the Discovery Health Series: "I Lost It". I truly thought I would turn it all back on without a problem and make it work. Little did I know or realize that maintenance is harder than loss because the rewards are so much more subtle.
Since January 2003 I have slowly crept back up the scale. I've had intermittent spurts of working out with a trainer, but they either moved or I lost motivation. Working out without watching what I ate kept me more toned, but the weight didn't change. Being in Europe with limited access to low fat foods was a great excuse not to try. But I am proud to say that I have spent the last 6+ months actively not beating myself up for my regain. There is no value in it. I have learned that it's easier to make changes out of love for myself than as punishment. Instead I focused on learning from the mistakes I made in the past and moving forward.
I must confess that I started weight watchers for reasons other than losing weight, though I wanted that too. Before moving to Hanau, my friend Missa and I began making lunches and breakfasts for each other. WE would each take a meal for the week. Because she's allergic to wheat and corn, we had to be really creative in what we made. Lots of fruits, veggies, lean meats and nuts. Avoiding corn syrup eliminated most of the canned goods in the commissary; avoiding wheat took out most carbs. Because she was dependent on me, I took the time to make breakfasts and plan lunches. I even lost a few pounds.
When I got to Hanau, everyone was going to the fast food places on post or the DFAC for lunch. Breakfast was grab what you can or order from the diner that delivered. The gym had not been seen in weeks. In 2.5 months I had a gained 10+ pounds and my standby pants were all wearing out at the inseam. My budget was being shot by the amount being spent eating out. So on January 24th when I found myself eating Cheetos for breakfast and then an afternoon snack, and one of my coworkers made a comment about watching what I was eating; I realized I needed to do something. Not just about my weight, but also about my overall health. How was I going to counsel my patients and their parents on healthy eating and living if I wasn't doing it myself? So I joined up and here I am.
While I'm very excited about the 15 pounds I've lost so far, I'm more excited about the following NSV:
1. Now I have 2 cases of carbonated water, one at home and one at work and got through them every 2 weeks or so.
2. I haven't needed/wanted to order breakfast from the diner since starting with WW.
3. I pulled out some "too tight" pants and wore them to work (They even slid down in the back some).
4. Friday, both a co-worker and a parent commented that I looked thinner!!
5. All the pants I bought on Old Navy in December are falling off even with a belt on.
6. I am way under budget for eating out this month.
7. Even though I'm not on target yet with working out, I have more energy and sleep better.
8. I have discovered how much fun it is to cook and have made it a priority to prepare meals for myself at least on weekends and usually in the middle of the week as well. The European ideal of fresh foods cooked immediately definitely is gaining appeal.
This is why I'm here today and plan on being here tomorrow. Thanks for letting me get this out and I hope it gives all of you some hope and insight.

Tonya.

And so it begins

I'm not even sure why I'm doing this or if I'll continue, but I think with the amount of time I'm spending online these days I need a place to journal my thoughts and track my experiences. It's soooo very hard for me to journal, but I do know that if I don't get some of this stuff out of my head an onto a more permanent media, I won't realistically track what's going on in my life. Let me start by saying that this site is not intended in any way to be a diet guide or inspiration for anyone else. It is merely a special place for me to log my weight loss experience with Weight Watchers. Hopefully I be successful at both.

Today was my fourth weigh-in and I'm down 12 pounds. I can't believe 12 pounds in 3 weeks and I'm a little scared that my scale is way off. I don't remember losing this fast with ediets but then again I was in better shape then too. Anyway I know that so far the flex plan is working for me. I will have to take a full length picture tomorrow to track the changes. I enjoyed my lunch today even though it was a ton of points to eat in the middle of the day. Who knew lemon meringue pie could taste so good?

Must start working on mini-goals and rewards. But now it's time for bed.